Successfully silent

I did it! So many people, including myself, never thought I could do a 6-day silent retreat ... but I did. And I'm here to tell you that it was one of the most fantastic experiences of my life!

My retreat took place at St. Mary's by the Sea -- a retreat center owned by the Sisters of St. Joseph . It is right on the beach at Cape May Point, NJ . Although the building isn't air-conditioned and the rooms are like small dorm rooms, it was a wonderful setting. There were about 130 women on silent retreat with me (about 110 of them were Catholic nuns), so in many ways, this made it easier. No one was talking! There were rocking chairs that lined the decks of the retreat center, overlooking the ocean, so one could sit and watch the ocean (and dolphins) for hours. I spent 2-5 hours on the beach each day. There were also hiking trails nearby, bikes we could borrow and ride around the cape, and long walks to take on the beach.

Each day I met with a spiritual director for 35 minutes to discuss how I was experiencing God. The second day of retreat, she encouraged me not to read any books (except the Bible) that day. I told her I'd be bored. She said, "God has enough to say to you that I don't think you'll be bored." I tried it -- and it was unbelievable. I really did have wonderful conversations with God!

With my spiritual director guidance, I dealt with some of my anger at God (mostly in response to my singleness). It felt good to deal with that with God. And I also was able to find some deep peace with God, especially in regards to thinking about my future. I found that as the week went by, I had less and less desire to read the pile of books/magazines I brought from home, and desired more to listen with God and journal. I couldn't believe how connected I felt with God when I tuned out all the other "noise" in my life. And "noise" isn't just talking ... but email, other books, texting, phone, TV, music. It's amazing how quickly we fill our ears/minds with things that prevent us from listening to God.

I realized that God has so much to say to us, if we just listen.

Since coming home, it's been a bit of a culture shock -- but I'm doing well. I don't find myself talking any more or less as a result of my experience, but I do find myself missing the time that I had there. How quickly it is to fall into our old patterns. But, I do find myself each day, stopping and anxiously listening to God. I've stopped doing most of the talking ... God has heard me for 39 years ... now it's time I shut up and listen to God.